Tweak’s Jokes, Toasts, and Small Anecdotes

Raunchy joke, (requires icicles and kilt/dress):“I’m freezing my nuts off!” Hang the icicles appropriately.Purposely Immature and Dangerous toast:Beer made our parents, it made us, and it made you. Drunk cuddling will give you kiddies too!Trying to Knock a soccer ball off a Cambridge hedge with a StickThere are no fallen sticks, or other useful tools […]

The Corporealization of Skulavitch (poem, anecdote)

She hides in my fear, in the shadows of mirrors. Unopened drawers and corners beyond my vision. Closed doors, drawn curtains. Hidden places, fearful spaces… the portraits see her, but they’ve no will, this phantom moves when I trance, when I glance she stays still. She’s filled with evil, filled with ill, thrives on hate, […]

Happiness (poem)

“Life is so much work.” *True* “Why can’t I be lazy?” *I’ll explain* “When will I be happy?” *** Ok. Stop. Imagine doing nothing… Dead yet? Your existence a gamble? …You bet! How can you think a state of mind is a destination or point in time? Praising lazy? Settle and unwind? You’ll arrest the […]

Caseus’s Mac and Cheese (poem)

In this pleasant, dimly lit ambiance;I ordered a dish in my ignorance.After friendly words it landed…atop cast-iron atop porcelain she handed:The MacMy eyes tasted a yellow-rustic glaze, an orange speckled beige. I torqued the concoction with my fork.. viscous warm, not dripping lava-hot. Finally my hunger compelled what saliva sought:I bit the bread baked,chewed the […]

Best Friends of a Demon Child (anecdote)

(Taken from my middle school autobiography: Demon Child. I left it unaltered, flawed grammar and all) For me, a Friend is someone you who will make you laugh. You cannot have too many friends. If you do you will not know them all that well. I have two best friends and no one else. I […]

The Grill Lass’s Grimace (poem)

I walked into the café during clean up…for five minutes the grill had been closed.When the clock struck 9:20; she looked up,What ferocity her face imposed! I stalled into an unprepared question,“I think I’d like an omelet please.”Her vexed reply provided suggestion,“Any meats, some veggies, or cheese?” Despite acting angry and mean,donning her fearsome grimace…I […]

The Eve of the First (anecdote)

The grocery store’s clock displayed 12:13 as I exited. It had been January 2nd for 13 minutes. Dusting flurries made halos around street lights before damply settling on black pavement. My first step outside slid uncontrollably, counterbalanced by flailing grocery bags. The concealed ice slick nearly destroyed me, and aggrivated my ankle pain. A 20 […]

Willy’s Note (poem)

I read Willy’s Note on YouTube Gunslingers, Your role was randomly decided,But don’t let “fate” make you misguided. Our Sheriff, “the defender of the laws,”rewards the murder of Outlaws. Undercover’s where the Deputies lie,and the Renegade gives others up t’ die. Now, some things I do are deemed forbidden,So, I must keep my motives hidden. […]

Midnight at Mad Murphy’s (anecdote)

Midnight at Mad Murphy’s This story starts out 1 beer in with terror in my bowels sitting on an unfamiliar toilet: failing to relieve any pressure… Opening the stall door, I saw a pale man, my age, wearing an extra long T-shirt, earrings, and a baby blue cap, apparently cheering his friend at the urinal, “Hey […]

Underwater Hockey (anecdote)

Under Water Hockey is a game played in a pool, 5 vs. 5. With fins, snorkels, facemasks, sunken goals, special sticks, and a heavy puck. This was how I viewed it after playing twice, note, ramming is illegal:Fins plunge like sharks on the hunt. And I dive into bubbled calamity.From my perspective in this 3-D […]